Happy (very late) Pico Day!

I was in the process of writing a very long NJ recap post, but then suddenly NG crashed and I lost all of the writing YAY! Then I got lazy to rewrite it all... 

So, this post will go over more on what's been going in the background since it's been a while! I've been mainly working in secret silence cause I'm sneaky like that. However, I did want to take a moment just to reflect a bit about the NJ trip, some of my running thoughts, and project updates (Snakedragon) :)

The NJ trip for Pico Day

It was my first trip taken without my family parading by my side. When I told them I was travelling to Jersey, they all questioned, "Why Jersey?" Some even saying, "Ew, Jersey." But I didn't really mind. I wanted to go not only for the meetup but also for a simple change of scenery. It's depressing to keep seeing the same sights after years living in the same spot. Damn glad I did, I enjoyed myself! Who knew after three years of joining NG I would go to Jersey? 

Super thankful that JAAS accompanied me because I know my dumbass will get lost. We visited New York a few days before the meetup, and man they weren't lying about the subways. The floors were entire ecosystems in it of themselves. Central Park was lovely though!

The meetup had such a huge turnout, 300 something people, crazy. It might sound cheesy, but I felt really at home, not my home I wouldn't even compare it, but just homey, homie ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) type, yeah? I guess it's what you get when you throw a bunch of introverts into a public setting and you get this semi-awkward yet genuine feel, dunno if I explained it right.

I appreciate everyone I met at the meetup, whether we chatted for a bit or simply exchanged signatures, it was so refreshing to interact with so many people after being under "house arrest" for the longest time. I want to go to these events more often, but I'm tied to my lack of active income womp womp. 

I keep saying I plan to so I gotta slap myself in the face and say, I will make a commission sheet! SOON??? AAA

Feeling like a dead-end

Sometimes I'd think I'm not doing the most I can. I've almost grown frustrated at this, during these past months. I felt like what I was doing didn't matter. That I'm just wasting time. Part of me still thinks that. I can't shake off this feeling that I've been doing things that don't really add value to a livable "career". I'm still working on projects related to what job I chose, but the process is so draining it bleeds into me questioning what I truly value in life.

The thought that "I'm wasting time" hits me and I feel demotivated to even start to draw. That's why sometimes there are large gaps in-between months. So I work and work, then before I know it, I feel no satisfaction. When I look back, I've just been doing the most mundane tasks unrelated to what I want. Even while under being a student, I was undecided and that's kind of what life felt for me. Being in constant turmoil working for freedom. I don't wish to have these feelings again. 

Not being in that state of work is also terrible. Since I'm so free to do what I want, in what direction do I go next? Should I follow the money or do something that I actually want? Maybe both, leaning on the latter. 

Recently, I watched Don Hertzfeldt, It's a Beautiful Day. Great film, despite mentally destroying me haha. It made me reflect quite a bit in what I value. I've felt better since that viewing. I think there was quite a lot to take from the film but what I got out of it is to live in the moment. Past or future, they don't exist, just you, in the present. 

I'll plan to go back and study in fall. Like getting a sort of cybernetic enhancement. If it goes well, I'll be happier creating things for myself with no remorse any longer. It's a nice thing be able to live off of the thing you are most passionate about. 

Point of the matter is, do the thing you love even if it kills you! :D

Now that that's out of the way, what a long-winded way of saying, go watch, It's a Beautiful Day!

Snakedragon Project Update!

Completed color script!

Such a long overdue task is finally done and so progress continues on! YAAAY can't wait to finally get back to it. What KCJ is doing is freaking fantastic, at this point I'm willing to let her take the lead on the animation side lol So far it's turning out to be pretty damn sexy lookin' I could kiss em.

Bro is getting so good with blender it brings a tear to my eye :*) 

It's such an old project I won't be very surprised if I have to go back to adjust the timing of the sequences and what not. I'll mainly be providing assets so it's a switch in tasks from the last movie. After KCJ miraculously figured out they could render the viewport display and not fully render, things are looking to go by a lot quicker. 

Mi brain no good - KCJ [06/10]

I'm really excited to get this old project back and running. I can see myself locking in, willing to relearn the blender basics again. These projects really do help in motivating me to keep going even though there really is no reward to em. Just the process and the finalization of seeing your vision come to life is such a great feeling it must be a super drug! 

More stuff 'comic' soon. 

Other than that, yeah I've mainly been writing in silence. Long forms of writing after periods of frustration that have slowly manifested itself into another story. It's one thing to get so many ideas and not being able to do anything about them but it's even worse when I leave them to rot. The one I had mentioned prior to the start of the year is yet to have its dialogue polished and yet, I found a way to make the most out of having less dialogue to work with. The ending may have changed too which is strange since I was so confident on it. More things to think about. It may be a long process but it's fun.

In terms of large pieces, like my last illustration, I really want to commit to something for longer. Comics are still in the air though; working on a very short one. It's like the best, no, worst, thing I have ever drawn. Definitely testing the waters on this one lol. 

A bit bummed I don't have any new art to post here yet :c

I'm being a bit more active on X just to post dumb shit Let's share some here!

Thanks for reading! I know if no one's got me NG got me. Thanks for the mention in the best of May that made my day !!! <3